Mental Health

Living With Undiagnosed ADHD as a Teenager

I was called lazy by my family my whole childhood.

Why are you so lazy?

You just need to put in more effort.

You never listen.

You have so much potential.

It's not rocket science.

Those were just a few things I'd hear from people on a regular basis. Very good for my mental health!

Up until a few months ago, I didn't even really know what ADHD was! I didn't know that all my life, my problems were due to me being neurodivergent. If I were simply brought to a psychiatrist when I was a child, I might have had a totally different childhood.

When I was a child I was forgetful, impulsive, obsessive (I'd hyperfocus on a particular thing or person), and distractible.

~To be continued~


Adult ADHD and Getting Diagnosed at 21

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I was angry. Angry that nobody from my family noticed this very serious, and sometimes completely debilitating mental illness I had. It was obvious that I had ADHD, but nobody seemed to notice. Now, I know it presents itself differently in girls, but still, when your child tells you something is wrong, you listen.

I think a lot of parents of my generation have a hard time understanding mental illness. They think we're obsessed with being mentally ill and that we collect disorders like they're trading cards. Which is kind of true, now that TikTok is full of people self diagnosing and faking disorders (total cringe and yucky energy). But to lump all of us under that umbrella is super offensive, especially since some of us have suffered tremendously our entire lives with an undiagnosed condition.

Getting diagnosed was a long and tedious process. I already knew what I had and how I wanted it treated, but the months went ever so slowly and I started to get antsy. I had an initial appointment where I met my psychologist and we discussed some of my history and the reason why I wanted to be evaluated.

~To be continued~

ADHD Meds

There's a lot of stigma surrounding medication for ADHD, especially stimulant medication, which is what I take. Stimulants, like Adderall, are drugs that have a high abuse potential, and I understand why after taking them for a while. I'm on 30 mg of Vyvanse, and let me tell you, it's magic. (I do not condone drug use, especially if it's a drug not prescribed to you, just to clarify!)

When I took it for the first time, I felt like I'd drank 347 cups of coffee, but minus the shaky feeling. It was an insane feeling that I didn't know if I enjoyed or not. But after about 30 minutes of feeling like a coked out fucking alien, things began to calm down. I could focus on my daughter completely for the first time, my mind was finally quiet, my anxiety wasn't strangling my brain every second, and for the first time in my life I got to feel normal.

It changed my life overnight. I'm a happier person, my husband is happier, and so is my child. She finally has a mom that doesn't get overstimulated every time she cries, I can play with her all day and not get bored and frustrated, and even when we have the hardest of days, I'm still smiling.

I was told by family that if I got on medication that I'd be on the "medication merry-go-round" my whole life, when all I needed was a single stimulant. The first medication I was prescribed worked. I wanted to be treated with an SSRI for depression, but there's too many complications with anti-depressants for me to want to try those. And luckily, Vyvanse helped my depression, since my depression has been primarily caused by my ADHD. The less ADHD symptoms I experience, the better my depression gets.

It's really difficult to discuss medication with my family, even though it is now the main reason that I'm able to function and be a likeable human being. They should be happy, right? Wrong. I think that that generation has a thing surrounding medication, especially medications to treat mental illness. I think that they believe that if you decide to get help in the form of medication that you're somehow weak.

I remember when I was super young and opened up to my parents about wanting to possibly get on an anti-depressant (I seriously wanted to kill myself back then, it was bad), they told me that I didn't want to do that because I'd be unable to have an orgasm. As if orgasms are the greatest gift life has to offer (I mean, they kind of are though?).

Anyways, the point is, I've been waiting my entire life for this, and to think that I was discouraged from it for so many years to the point of completely eliminating it as an option all together! Craziness. Bonkers. Bananas, one might say.

~To be continued~


Major Depressive Disorder


Anxiety/Social Anxiety


Panic Disorder


Unspecified Trauma and Stressor Related Disorder