My Name

My name hasn't always been "Avalon", it once was "Mackenzie", and most people that read this will probably know that. But, not a lot of people know why I decided to change it.

If my father was the one to name me "Mackenzie" I probably would have kept the name, but alas, he didn't choose it. For most men, while their child is brewing, their incubator chooses a name and refuses to budge. Men just nod their heads, "Yes, honey. We can name him Absalom after that blue caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland." So I figured my father did the same when my Incubator suggested "Mackenzie". By the way, you'll hear my (birth) mother referred to as the "Incubator" all throughout this website, you'll understand why if you read my Mommy Issues tab!

Anyways, when The Incubator got pregnant with my brother (during her first marriage) her husband suggested the name "Mackenzie" if my brother were to be born a girl. Well, The Incubator hated that idea, no really, she actually said she hated the name. My brother was born, well...a boy. And they named him Zack. My brother's father and the Incubator got a divorce, and sometime after that, she married my father.

The Incubator got pregnant with me in 2000, and I guess they saw on the ultrasound that I had a vagina, and she had the perfect idea for a name!

"Let's name her Mackenzie!"

What a fucking snake. The story of how my name came to be tells you all you need to know about my birth mother. After I found that out, I immediately wished to change it. I never wanted to be associated with The Incubator again. Maybe if I weren't named so manipulatively I would have kept it, but alas, manipulation is the Incubator's middle name as you'll soon come to realize.

My husband was the one to help me decide my new name. He actually made me feel as though it was okay to want to go by something different. Nobody understood, and they still don't, but that's okay. The Incubator was so upset by it that she said, "Fuck her" when my brother corrected her when she referred to me as my dead name. My name was the very last tie she had to me, it was all she had left. Now, she has nothing. The only thing remotely linking the two of us are strands of DNA, how sad.